"A Person is a Person...No Matter How Small"

Bon Chanse

2005-12-13T13:31:00.000Z

Hey Everybody,

In the IT block at school at the moment, seems to be the only times I can actually be arsed to update :P

Anyway, I'll keep it short but sweet. MK meet-up should be cool, if I go lol! Will be getting the bus with the other AGS dudes so that my mum doesn't have to give me a lift, she'd probably just spend the whole time telling my how irresponsible I'm being for not using the time for revising for the mocks we've got after Christmas.

Mergh! MOCKS :( Will revise at some point over christmas, when I make time for it lol.

Ordered my iPod this weekend. :D Can't wait til christmas.

That is all! Speak to everybody soon!

-TheSecretRomantic <3 xxx

Cross Out My Eyes

2005-12-03T10:57:00.000Z

Hey Everybody,

Gonna be heading off to my dads in a couple of mins, he's picking us up. Apparently he's got Carol (his gf) in the car, which is strange because he doesn't usually bring her, meh we must be doing something special today.

Anyway, I'm very tired at the moment, but loud music is waking me up! oooo Something I didn't mention in the last post is I've signed up to this thing call LastFM, which you install on your computer and it finds out all the music you play and then uploads it onto your own profile page. My profile page can be seen here. It says I've played over 1200 tracks in just over 2 weeks, which I think is pretty impressive. :)

I'd better get going now! But I'll speak to you all soon! xxxx

-TheSecretRomantic <3

Change

2005-12-03T01:56:00.000Z

Hey Everybody,

Check out the new template :D! Let me know what you think of it! Also added some links down the right hand side to websites I visit sometimes, and stuff like that :D all very cool.

Anyway stuff is changing at the moment, which sucks, but won't go into detail on that.

I'm really tired so I'm going to go to bed, Dad's picking us up in the morning and I'm never going to be able to get up in time. Awww never mind.

And I hope anybody and everybody who goes to bed tonight feeling sad, feels better tommorow morning! :( I also wish it was that simple, and through that one sentenance everybody would be ok. But sadly not :(

Anyway, speak to you all soon! xXx

-TheSecretRomantic <3

PS. Might post all of the posts I made during November on my livejournal on here. So look out for those!

Bare Time Bruv

2005-12-02T13:26:00.000Z

Hey Everybody,

Not made a post in "bare time" so thought I'd better make one. I've been posting on my livejournal blog too much recently, so actually didn't make a post during the whole of November.
:O

But yeah back now, so might start posting more on here! But can't be arsed right now! Speak to everybody soon!

-TheSecretRomantic <3

Can I be your memory?

2005-10-24T11:59:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Thought it was once again that time to make a blog post lol so here goes.

The title for this post is from a song called "Memory" by an awesome band called "Sugarcult", I've got an acoustic version from the "Punk Goes Acoustic" album! Urm...nd yah all the bands, albums, and songs metioned above are awesome so go download them! Now!

Anyway tommorow I'm going to MK with the WUS gang, I get to meet NEW PEOPLE :O :O :O!!

O.o But apparently they're nice so all is kl...

But hopefully some people will have digital cameras with them, so maybe soon I will have lots of prettyful pictures of the gang out in MK! I'm gonna take some myself, but I have no digitalness, so I'm gonna bring just a throw away normal person camera.

Anyway, can't really be bothered to write anymore! So speak to everybody soon (most of you tommorow methinks!)!

xXxXxXx

<3 If you want the rainbow...you have to put up with the rain <3

2005-10-20T22:34:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

I thought it was probably about time that I made a post. Having not done so in quite some time! So here I am!

Today's title is taken from a saying that I kinda like at the moment, I heard it somewhere ages ago (can't remember where!!) but I just really like it, it's so optimisitic and positive which rocks. Kinda says that if you want something really bad, something amazing and beautiful then you have to put up with all the bad things that happen on the way, or during.

Another saying I like at the moment (which I stole from one of Scott's display pictures!) is "A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting there next to you saying, shit we screwed up this time." Lol thought it was great!

Anyway...half term after tommorow :D which rocks! Hopefully will be doing some fun things (and shout out to Tasha! Hope you have a lovely time on your holiday)

I need to go do my English homework so I think this will have to be it for today! Speak to you all soon!!! xXxXx

Paaaarrrttttyyyy

2005-10-16T08:59:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Thought I would make a post about Jamie's party last night, seeing as I desperatly need an excuse to not start my coursework just yet lol.

Well it was cool for a start. Loadsa people were there that I knew, plus some gurls from the high who I had known from like year 7 and hadn't really seen since then. And just got on so well with everybody. (Well most people) :P

Everyone got a bit pissed though, and a lot of people turned into dickheads when they got drunk. Erm Jamie got extremely drunk, for a start, Jess was a little bit tipsy but that was just funny :P.

Anyway! Speak 2 y'all l8er!

Sometimes...

2005-10-14T22:41:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Sometimes it rains hard enough that you don't care how wet you get.

In English today we were analysing a poem called "sometimes", it's one of the poems we have to study for GCSE. And to begin with we did a brainstorm of things that make us happy that happen sometimes, so like the statement would begin with the word sometimes...and then followed by an optimistic comment of things that make you happy.

The above in bold is one that I did :D! Well I was proud of it, and it reminded me of the time after school in the bus park when it rained REALLY hard, and everyone was hiding under their umbrellas except me and Jasmine who totally love rain, and we got totally soaked but it was so fun. And that really made me smile :D! Which is not bad for an English lesson I thought...wondering if any of you people could come up with any more of these optimistic sometimes statements in your comments?

Anyway, just to let y'all know, next month (for those of you who haven't slept in a while, the next month after this one will be November), I will be writing a novel. It is part of this thing called NaNoWriMo (short for National Novel Writing Month) where you try to write a novel, at least 50,000 words long in one month. (Check out the home website of the competition at http://www.nanowrimo.org). Should be great.

I really want to get started on it now, but I'm not allowed until November 1st, but one thing I am doing is planning it to death, because I know when it comes to writing in the little time I have, without a decent plan I'm just gonna fall flat on my face, and to be honest I really would like to complete this challenge.

Anyway, so I'll expect you to all buy copies of my book in December lol, they'll make great Christmas presents!

Anyway! Must get on with this planning! So will talk to you all soon! xXxXx

PS. Jamie's party tommorow! Wish me luck!

Who understands me?

2005-10-10T22:33:00.000+01:00

Hey everybody,

Feel kinda lonely at the moment...

You realise by looking around and reading stuff people have written and stuff...you can see how people understand each other...like Gregg's got Anne (and vice versa), corse there's all the nice happish people who understand each other...Lavan is understood (well sorta) by his Josh, maybe Catherine as well...I dunno...just who understands me?

I just kinda feel shit at the moment because I'm still not sure who I am...and scared...I'm different things to different people, to some I'm a crazy bouncy short fat shit who does funny stuff sometimes. To others I'm different, I dunno what, just don't feel like I know who I am...not as if anybody actually cares about who I am...

Don't even know why I'm bothering with this post, tis totally pathetic..

.::Title Goes Here::.

2005-10-05T09:18:00.000+01:00

Hey everybody,

Once again in a Sys Con lesson, (seems like lessons are the only times I'm posting nowadays!). Just thought it was about time that I made a new post.

Don't really know what to say to be honest. I'm supposed to be doing some crazy circuit diagram but I really can't be arsed right now, besides the teacher just did like half the work I need in for today just a minute ago so all is cool.

Got invited to Jamie's party, dunno if Josh just invited me because he felt sorry for me like being a bit of loner lol, :S! But either way I probably won't be able to go because my mum probably won't be willing to pick me up at like 12:30am, and I can't stay at anybody's house. So kinda screwed.

Went to the gate today, but I went in well early, because Jess went in, which meant only Josh and Jamie were left, which was just plain awkward to be honest so I went in, collected money for Malawi, and now here I am in period 1 :P!

Anyway, can't be bothered to write anymore right now, so I'll speak to everybody later. xxx

Post Number 63

2005-09-26T15:20:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Yep, that's right, this is my 63rd post on this blog...woooo go me :P!

In a Geography lesson at the moment, once again, sposed to be doing coursework, but I've been working hard, and to be honest, at the moment I really can't be arsed to do anymore. The teacher tried to give my a detention, for not handing my work in, tried to explain to him that I was ill and therefore couldn't hand it in, and he seemed to accept that excuse lol, but not without me having to write ANOTHER note from my parents to him, because the one I sent to the school office just wasn't enough for him :P!

Yah anyway, on a happier note, met Jasmine's brother today, I was in the computer block, trying to get some more of this coursework done, and I decided to take a break, so I went on Jasmine's deviant art blog, and he came up behind me and was like "You know pinkina?", and I was like yah :P we've been mates for a couple of months now :P and he was like "Wow she's my sister"...and I was like ":0" (shocked face :P) because I didn't know that any of her brothers went to this school.

Can't really be bothered to write anymore at the moment so speak to everybody soon. xxxx

ill :(

2005-09-21T11:06:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

At home, in bed at the moment, :( my throat has swollen up and I can't even talk, tis very painful, so yah I'm at home today :( which sucks because I needed to give Jasmine the best hug in the world today because she's been feeling ill. So that didn't work out...

Anyway, can't be bothered to make a post at the moment...speak to everybody soon.

Self Esteem

2005-09-20T22:14:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Today's blog title has been taken from a song by The Offspring, and to be honest this post has absoultly nothing to do with the stuff that song talks about but it is quite an important thing in my life.

Those of you who know me well will probably know that I sometimes suffer from low self esteem, because of my weight. But I'm okish at the moment, because spent the last 20 mins working out :P...well not properly...just loads of pressups nd push ups nd stuff :P but hey if the dudes in PE say that shit works then it's worth a try right? :P

Hurts now though...back is killin me...but hey I spose it'll hurt less as I lose more weight which can only be a good thing, so now I have to really properly persuade myself to eat a lot better.

Many thanks to Josh this evening for dicatating what my girlfriend must be like if I get one, has to be somebody who isn't a differnt social circle that he's in already because otherwise he has to make new friends (and that would be such a bad thing!) she also has to actually like Josh, and make a good impression on him, and of course like Jamie!

Aww well...anyway, he hasn't really got much to worry about at the moment has he really, I'm not likely to meet anybody who'll like me like that for a long time...so yah! :D But hey never mind..

Speak to y'all soon! :D byebye!

Hateful Happyness

2005-09-18T15:58:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Just got back from the cinema, went with Niall to see The Longest Yard, I had already seen it, but I liked it loads so I went to see it again lol! Love it! Everybody should go and see it.

On the way back from the cinema my mum was pissed off with me, can't really be arsed to go into why...but yeah...so on the way back from the cinema I was thinking about the day when I get my exam results and the things I'm going to do! I have been plotting!

First of all, if I get good results I'm gonna say a big fuck you to my mum, because even though apparently I didn't work hard enough, and I was lazy and selfish, I did get good results, so in your face. :P Then I have lots of other stuff planned :P but it's all secrets at the moment!

But hey most it probs won't ever happen, because I probs won't get very good results in reality. Everyone a coupla days ago was talking about it, and Josh and Scott were like yeah, we're aiming for As nd A*s in everything, but to be honest I'll be lucky to get Cs in most of my subjects.

Anyway I g2g for lunch now, so everybody have a nice day! Love you all!

Damn it's cold!

2005-09-17T19:51:00.000+01:00

Well just got back from my dad's! And sat ouside my front door on my laptop waiting for my mum to get home, without a jumper on...and if you check the time of this post you'll notice it's like nearly 8! I am sooooooo cold lol.

But hopefully my mum will be home soon, just hoping that typing fast will keep my fingers warm lol! Not really got much to say at the moment reali! So yeah! Might post some more later though! Byebye xxx! Love you all!

I heart rain!

2005-09-15T09:51:00.000+01:00

Hey everybody,
In a sys con lesson at the moment, we’re sposed to be doing coursework on the computers, but I forgot the stuff I need to do the coursework, so I’m kinda stuck with nothing to do reali. So yeah, thought I would make a post and read peoples blogs and stuff.

Anne is home now :D she phoned last night, and we talked for ages which was cool, I’ve not been able to speak to her for ages. So yeah that was nice. Went boarding again yesterday, but tried to ollie and the board slipped out from under me and I fell and smashed my head, which was pretty painful, but hey I’ll get over it! And no doubt I’ll be out there again this evening trying to do it.
That’s pretty much everything interesting that happened yesterday, but this morning we went to the high school gate again like we do everyday, cept today it was raining, which was pretty cool, I love rain. Got totally drenched, my hair is still wet lol!

Anyway can’t really think of much more to write at the moment, just kinda content atm. So yah…speak to you all later!

Ugh

2005-09-13T16:43:00.000+01:00

Yeah, spose that pretty much explains the way I feel right now...

But I can't explain what's making me feel like that really...because nobody would understand, and if they did understand they'd be annoyed at me. So yeah, stuck with feelin ugh.

But hey I'll live. Hope everybody had a great time today!

Ok, Crap, Good, Crap, Crap, Good, Good

2005-09-12T22:31:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Thought I would make a quick post before I go to bed (otherwise Tasha might moan :P!).

So yeah here is an outline of my day:

Had double history, which was boring, but went ok, history never really is a problem, you just do the work and that's it. Next I had physics which was a bit of a disaster because for the experiment we were doing into power, we had to weigh ourselves, they guys in my class pushed me to the back of the queue to use the scales "incase I broke them", oh yeah and one of the guys who is in my class is affectionatly calling me "big tits boy", so yeah kinda sick of that, but Chemistry was ok because we were just playing Bingo :P and I won loads, and then we had French, which sucked because I failed the test, so I've got a retest tommorow lunchtime. And then finally I had geography which sucked because there wasn't really much work I could do on my coursework without a computer, so just kinda sat there for an hour and 20mins and did nothing.

So overall my day was pretty crappy, but when I got home I had this bar of dark chocolate from Beligian, but neither me of my bro like dark chocolate, so we melted it down in the microwave and mixed it with loads of milk, thinking it would turn into milk chocolate and taste nice, but it didn't really work :P, but we mixed it with some crushed up shreaded wheat and waited for it to set and then ate them...lol they were nice.

Then later on I went out skateboarding (yeah again), there were loadsa kids out there again, and I almost managed to do an ollie, when I finally got the board off the ground it slipped out from under my feet which wasn't good because the floor was concrete and I wasn't wearing any pads or anything. But I'm going to keep at it lol!

Haven't really done any homework tonight, which I should have done :( aww well I'm just such a lazy git! But hey there's some good news!! Anne is home in 48 hours!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!! Can't wait to speak to her again, I've missed her so much.

Anway, that's all folks! (thanks for that line bugs bunny) I'm off to bed now nunite! xxx

The Reason

2005-09-12T00:51:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Well, the title of this post comes from a song by Hoobastank (tis a very cool song, you should all hear it some time) and listening to it recently just reminded me of something I talked to Tasha about recently.

The song is basically about somebody chaning their ways for somebody else, and the song was probably intended to be about some guy who fucked up a relationship and wanted the girl back so he said he had changed. Well this songs means a bit more than that to me. I see it more about the relationship my mum and dad had, and how much my dad is an arsehole. My dad is a typically man (a bastard as you girls would probably call him), he's selfcentred, has lots of money that he spends mostly on himself, and of course he's really lazy and gets his girlfriend to do everything for him.

And I see all of this in my dad, and I soooo badly don't want to be like that. So I try my best to be different from other guys, to not be shallow, to actually give a shit about others and to look after my friends and family rather than ignoring them completely. But the disheartening thing about all this, is I often find myself being the bastard I am inside but never let out, and I don't want that to happen :(. Meh! I dunno...I see myself becoming like him, but I don't want to ever find myself in that position...anyway...

Sorry about that little rant there, was just my chain of thought speaking. Just something I was considering at this moment, and when I couldn't think of anything to write about I wrote about that. Anyway there's the post you asked for people! And just to let you all know, I had a good weekend!!

Nunite everybody!!! (leave comments!!)

xxxx

YAY! more coursework YAY!

2005-09-07T17:53:00.000+01:00

Hey Everbody,

Just thought I'd make a quick post whilst I'm waiting for friends to come on!

Anyway, kinda down (yeah...again...i know!), because I've just got so much coursework to do at the moment, I have 6 pieces of coursework set at the moment, all of which have to be finished soon, some before next week, some to be finished some time in the middle of November.

I got the information about the first piece of history coursework we have to do this year, which in total has to be 5,000 words. Yea, I didn't accidentally add a zero or anything, 5,000!!!

I'm like gonna be working non-stop, so sorry if I don't come online and talk to you people, it's not because I don't like you, its because I have work to do.

Thanks for listening! Speak to y'all soon!

PS. Would like to take this chance to thank the mother fucking arse holes who came up with the idea of testing 15 year olds with the most important exams of their lives, I'm just not mature enough at the moment to deal with all this stress and fear of failure. I mean for fucks sake, the woman in assembly basically said today that we either do well in this exams and make the school look good, or we will be failures for the rest of our lives. The future of my whole life on my shoulders at 15? I'm not sure I'm ready for this! Anyway! Au rovoir (however you spell that)!

And All Of Your Stars...Have Faded Away...But Try Not To Worry...You'll See Them Some Day...

2005-09-07T00:26:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Well first of all I would like to say sorry for not being online this evening, but I have explorers on Tuesday nights, so that's what I was doing. Which was pretty kl! But tonight we were just playing games and stuff, because there were some new people. I was pretty happy with it all really because I found out I was just as fit as most people there, suprised some of the people who saw me as a good-for-nothing-fat-shit, as it seems so many people see me these days :D.

Also really pissed off at the moment, because I didn't get the opportunity to talk to Anne this evening, and shes going on holiday tommorow, so yea kinda annoyed. Didn't get the chance to talk her out of getting back with Rick when she gets back off holiday. I don't understand myself though, I'm so hypocritical! I want her to be happy, everything inside me tells me that, but I really don't want her to be happy with him for some reason. Which is pretty fucked up because he's the only one she wants, and she could never be with anybody else...me thinks I shall have to murder him when I'm older! (que Josh and badminton possy with badminton rackets :P).

Anyway, Niall said today (and quite a few times recently), that he is emotionless, feels no emotions whatsoever, and in that way I envy him quite a lot. Life as a shallow person must be great, I must give it a go one day, "shed ourselves of this pain that keeps us real" I believe is a quote that fits, I think it might be from a song I can't remember, or maybe it's just one of those random things that comes out of my head again.

I believe this all I have to say about everything at the moment, I believe there is nothing else worth mentioning at this point. So nunite all!

The Case Of The Missing Identity

2005-09-05T23:34:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Was back at school today, which sucked, well it wasn't that bad, but it was very boring.

First of all I would like to say CONGRATULATIONS, to Anne for lasting a whole day without Rick, is that a new record? I dunno? You tell me :D!

Anyway, felt a bit lonely earlier, the whole relationshipless thing, but I'll be ok! As always...

Can't really be bothered to write anymore at the moment to be honest. Love you all xxx...

PS. Thanks to Mary, Tasha and Encho for being so marvellous! :D

Summer Has Come And Past....

2005-09-04T23:14:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Well it's the end of the summer holidays!

It's a real shame, because in a weird kinda way it's been a really bad holiday, and in some ways it's been really good. But I don't really want to talk about it :D! Anyway I would like to thank everybody that made my summer as eventful and special as it was!

I think next year I'm planning an amazing summer to make up for having to do exams! Hopefully with going to Nequay with Anne and Dani, and FESTIVALS! And my 16th birthday, going to have have a massive party! Anyway, so yea excited about that.

Also pretty excited at the moment as well, because I MIGHT be going to see My Chemical Romance in London in November! Which would be awesome!! Anyone who thinks they might like to come let me know! :D

Anyway I had better get off to bed! Nunite everybody!!

Pick The Silver Lining Out Of That...

2005-09-04T00:52:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Well you will all be happy to know that I will be using this blog as my personal blog as of now, because I am sick of the limited options in MSN spaces, and I love all the little extras you can stick in here.

Anyway, lots of things have happened since I last made a post on any blog really. So hopefully in this post I'll get around to explaining some of them. Well first of all I believe it is worth mentioning that I am now 15 :D! Which means I can go to the cinema to see a 15, for the first time in my life, may need an ID card to do so though :S they'll never believe that I am 15, I'm just too small. Anyway I hope to go and see my first 15 in the cinema tommorow with Gregg.

Erm don't really want to talk about my birthday much, the whole thing has been a bit of a shit affair really for many reasons, most of which probably aren't worth mentioning. But all I can say is thank god for My Chemical Romance! I swear they've kept me alive this past few days! An awesome band, with an amazingly good looking front singer, what more do u want??

Anyway, Gregg says that he'll put some music to songs that I write, I suppose that *sorta* makes us a band, but not really because there's not really any other bits to it lol. Talking of Gregg's I shall hopefully be seeing Gregg tommorow, even though I'm sure I should be getting homework done, and getting ready for school the day after tommorow, but I don't really feel like all that.

At the moment, I'm on MSN, just chatting to Jaky :D, I was really worried about her because I hadn't heard from her for quite a while, but turned out that she was on holiday like everybody else, which is a relief! Oh yea and I'm also listening to some music, bit of Damien Rice at the moment to help me cool down a bit.

Talking off cooling down, I kinda need to at the moment! It's so hot in here (my bedroom) because I've closed the window so that I can have the light on without loads of really nasty bugs getting inside.

Anyway...spose I should probably get going now, but speak to y'all soon!

A Story Untold...

2005-08-28T16:14:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Well if you read my last post then you know I'm writing a story, or at least attempting to at the moment. Well I started writing it, and it sucked so much, so I've deleted it and decided to start over, probably actually think about what I'm writing before I write it. Anyway I'll let you know how it's coming when I actually managed to get properly started.

Anyway, speak to you all later!

Song Story

2005-08-24T01:15:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

I was surfing the net this evening, looking for inspiration, and found a guide for writing a good story, and one person suggested that you make a playlist from some songs on your computer and write a story about the story told by the songs.

So that's exactly what I'm working on at the moment! The songs I've chosen are:

1.) Coldplay ~ Fix You
2.) Damien Rice ~ The Blower's Daughter
3.) The Corrs ~ What Can I do?
4.) Daniel Bedingfield ~ If You're Not the One
5.) Hoobastank ~ The Reason
6.) Lazlo Bane ~ Superman
7.) Joss Stone ~ Super Duper Love
8.) Maroon 5 ~ She Will Be Loved
9.) Robbie Williams ~ Sexed Up
10.) Phantom Planet ~ Lonely Day

Maybe I'll post a bit of it when I write it, but I doubt it to be honest. It won't be very good!

Anyway, I'm off to bed now, meeting Tasha and Enchi tommorow! Night all!

Boys Don't Cry

2005-08-21T02:04:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Kinda obsessed with The Cure at the moment, I downloaded their greatest hits album and it’s awesome, it’s got sooooo many songs on it that I’ve heard before but I’ve never heard. The only reason I actually downloaded it was because Bob had it on a t-shirt and the design looked cool, so I decided it must be a cool bad. Glad I did now!

Anyway, soz I’ve not posted on here for ages, I’ve just been posting on my MSN space a lot instead, because MSN spaces have lots more features, even though there are limited templates to choose from and you have to put up with adverts.

Hopefully I will be going round to Josh's tommrow, which should be cool :D! Gregg might be there too, so should be fun :D!

Got back from holiday yesterday. I had a great time, can’t really be bothered to write much more about it at the moment! I’ll write again soon! Peaceout!

(Sleep) Over

2005-08-07T09:01:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody!

At Gregg's house at the moment! Everybody say hi to Gregg!! :P

Me and Josh stayed at Gregg's house for a (sleep) over...we didn't go to sleep, spose by the time we remembered that we were sposed to it was too late anyway...so we just kinda stayed up playin X-Box...and mucking bout wit Gregg's guitar!!

Well I think I can safely say we're all pretty nakerd at the moment! Josh is currently asleep on the sofa...totally crashed out...and wouldn't even move to come on MSN or eat an apple! I can't type for shit cos I'm so nakerd...and Gregg...he's eating Josh's apple!

I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yesterday, with my dad and my brother, after going to visit my nan in hospital (get well soon!!) neway...yh...it was the weirdest film I've ever seen and very very very scary...might need quite a bit of convincing before I see that agen!

Anyway...too tired to write anymore...and quite frankly saddened by the fact that there is nobody online before 10 in the morning...Mary's back and I want to talk to her!!!

Peaceout everybody!

PS. I have loadsa photos from this morning and last night, so once I get em off Gregg I'll upload them either here or on my msn space (or both!)!

At My Dad's (Again :P)

2005-08-05T08:08:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

My mum is working today so once again I am at my dads! I'm soooooo tired at the moment, but I don't see why I shouldn't after my recent sleeping pattern. Two nights ago I stayed up pretty late talking to Hannah, Tasha and Emma, who were all at Hannah's house, then woke up at like 8, then night before last I was up really late talking to Enchi, and then I had to get up at 7, I spent a whole, shattering day at Thorpe Park yesterday, and then last night I stayed up late talking to Enchi and Tasha only to be woken up at 7 again to go to my dads! I am shattered lol!

Anyway, like I just said, I went to Thorpe Park yesterday, which was fun, we went on every single ride on the extreme thrills list, except X:/No Way Out, which according to my brother isn't that extreme anyway.

Loved Nemesis the most, because there was this section at the beginning where you went through this massive tunnel, and it was totally covered in this smoke stuff, which was like dry ice or something, it was really cold, but it looked quite cool!

So overall, had a nice day yesterday, I basically finished it off by talking on MSN to everybody, which was quite kl. I heard this morning that my nan is in hospital at the moment, I hope she's ok! We're going to go and visit her today, at round about two. Other than that I'm not sure I'm going to do anything, because I'm at my dads and he is working from home today, so we can't go out or anything, but I'll be alright, it will be nice to just be able to chill out! Anyway speak to everybody later!

Please post comments!

At My Dad's

2005-07-29T08:21:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody!

Got up at 7 this morning! So that I could be at my dad's for now, even after a late night last night. So least I can say is I'm reeeeaaaallllyyyy tired at the moment. But I'm here, so I can't exactly go to bed, so I'm up.

Just been thinking about yesterday and smiling! Best time I've had in quite a while lol, and maybe we can do something like that again, maybe the day before my birthday, because I've been looking for something to do! So that could be cool...because my mum is working that day, so I'd go into work with her in the morning until everyone arrived at like ten, and then I'd walk into the city centre and meet up with everybody then leave with my mum when she arrives at like six! Comment on what you think of the plan!

Anyway, I can't really think of anything else to write in this post at the moment, so I'll speak to everyone later hopefully! Peace out!

PS. Have a nice holiday Jaz!

Have It All

2005-07-28T23:08:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Well, it's kinda late and I'm up at 7am tommorow morning, but I never let things like that get in my way before and I'm not gonna let them get in the way now! I've named this post Have It All, after a great song Jeremy Kay by the same title. It's a great song and really describes my life, and each verse can describe a mood I'm in on any given day (view the lyrics here, maybe it will help to understand a bit more) but basically todays verse is below:

Today I feel like laughing
Seems to be no reason at all
And if the world stops spinning
I’m not afraid to fall

Anyway, enough lyrics from happy songs from the soundtrack to Srubs and more about why the hell today has been such a good day! As some of you may know, me and Josh went to meet up with Mary today, I've been talking to her online for like a year but we've never had the chance to meet, and so today was decided earlier on this week and me and Josh went to Milton Keynes to go meet her and some of her friends.

Well I had a great time lol, even if I did have to have my picture taken a few times. Basically we walked round the shopping centre and the market all day (yeah, my legs are well tired lol) and had loadsa fun, and then we went to the crazy place with fountains and sat around and played frisbee with the lid from a pot of flying saucers, twas tres kl!

Mary is awesome btw! Way cooler than I could have expected and so much fun (another way of saying crazy) which was really kl and we had loadsa fun. Thought I might as well post a picture or two...seeing as I don't really have a huge amount more to say about everything...

This is a picture of me (far left) with Mary and Josh. :D Good times!

This is me (centre) with Mary (right) and Mary's friend Hannah (who is poking me in the face with a magical pink thingie :P) And the reason this photo is a little fucked up is because the camera was on the floor on top of a jumper and on auto, so the jumper got in the way of the photo a bit...

Anyway talking of Mary's friends....they were all really cool and we got on really well, which was good considering we'd never even met before. Specially Hannah though lol (see above) she rocked!

Sooo...yea! Today was a great day..thanks to everybody :D for a great time, even though only Mary and Josh will read this post...but thanks to everybody else anyway! And night people, please comment..only 1 day until I go on holiday!

Fix You

2005-07-27T12:57:00.000+01:00

Well another song that fits the way I'm feeling at the moment has got to be Fix You by Coldplay, it just seems like the song was written for me, because the second I heard it I knew what it was about, and instantly thought of this, so anyway here are the lyrics with some personal annotations!!!

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

This verse basically describes the situation she's in at the moment, especially the get what you but not what you need bit, because this describes the whole Rick thing, she wants Rick, but he's not what she really needs, she really needs someone who will appreciate her and love her with all his heart rather than going and cheating on her...and shes stuck in reverse because (despite everything I've tried to do) she's going back to the way she was before. O yea and the so tired but you can't sleep really fits as well seeing as neither of us really sleep anyway...let along when we argue.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Well I think we can definetly be sure that the whole tears streaming down your face bit is true, she cries all the time, it just seems that more and more recently it's my fault. When you lose something you can't replace, this could be a whole number of things...but I'm not going to go there. When you love someone but it goes to waste, this definetly describes the whole Rick situation, she loves him more than almost anyone and yet he persists to be a dickhead, and therefore her love has gone to waste. Could it be worse? Well it probably could but not a huge amount...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

The only reason I pasted the chorus is because it contains the key idea of the whole song, and the key idea to my whole life, which is...I will try to fix you, however I would like to change the last line to make it more fitting to my life, I would change it to and I need to fix you, because if I don't then I'm just totally useless and my life is just totally pointless.

Well I think thats probably enough for right now, I can't be bothered to annotate the whole song, but if you listen to it you'll probably better understand how I feel. Comment people, and thanks for listening.

The Secret Romantic

2005-07-27T01:19:00.000+01:00

As most of you will probably have noticed, that my online alias, and posting name is "The Secret Romantic", and therefore I thought I'd better make myself a little logo, it is shown below! I'm currently using it as my MSN display pic! Please leave comments on what you think:

There you go! I know there's no colour in it, but I couldn't think of what colours to do it in, but I think it looks ok like that! No prizes for guessing what the S and R stand for lol. Anyway! Please comment and let me know what you think.

Nunite everybody! Especially the special gurl in Mansfield who broke my heart tonight...

The Best Deceptions

2005-07-27T00:04:00.000+01:00

I think this is probably a suitable title for my post considering my current position. Just so the world knows, Anne and I have had an argument, over how useless I am. Tonight she told me that no matter my efforts I had never done anything right at all and that I was totally useless at trying to help her, this is where the best deceptions comes in, because she always told me that I had helped, when in fact I hadn't and she had been lying this whole time. Funny how she should say this now though isn't it...maybe this is her way of getting rid of me.

She's been trying to call me but I can't do with talking to her at the moment, because she's the one person who can make everything better and yet shes the only one actually hurting me. Brings up another line from the song, "ignoring the phone, i'd rather say nothing, i'd rather you'd never heard my voice, you're calling to late, to late to be gracious, you do not warant long goodbyes".

She basically just disappeared offline and didn't want to talk to me at all, so why should I have to force my company on her? Why should I listen to her when she left me drowning in my own tears...

Gregg says death defeats all pain, maybe thats the only thing I got left seeing as the only person who takes away the pain is the one doing the damage. Problem is nobody seems to understand, whenever I try to talk to Gregg about it, he tries to convince me that his life is worse, but I spose go commit suicide is the best piece of advice anyone has given me in a while, Josh smiles like it's one big joke, which is exactly what Anne would want, so I dunno why he don't just bugger off with her, and I can't tell anybody else about it because nobody else would bother to listen long enough. So pissed off...where the hell is Scott he'd know what to do...

Goodnight everybody...hope your hearts don't have to bleed in your beds like mine does tonight.

"A Person is a Person...No Matter How Small"

2005-07-26T18:48:00.000+01:00

As you may have noticed I have changed my blog title, it's been the same (I don't have luck I have you) ever since I got it and I thought it was about time for a change! So here's the change, kinda topical for me because I'm so short, and of course it's one of the Dr. Seuss quotes that I found on the internet (see two posts before this one for more information about these)

Cya ppl!

Stay Classy World!!

2005-07-26T16:00:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody!

At Josh's house at the moment, just finished watching Anchorman, tis a good film!!! Really funny, my favourite character was the funny dude with a hand grenade! So funny! Really kl!

Anyway, at the moment I'm waiting for my turn on the Gamecube, Josh and Gregg are playing at the moment, I'm not even that good at it lol so I don't really care if I get a turn or not...don't really know what to say at the moment...

....spose I'm in a kinda good mood, but the problem is some bad stuff has happened this morning before I got here, Anne has not really been talking to me and seems to be ignoring me completely, maybe I'm just being paranoid but it's kinda worrying when she leaves on MSN after not really talking to me at all without even sayin that she loves me which is something that she always does. :S I'm really not sure what's going on there...but hopefully I can talk to her tonight on the phone and we'll sort everything out.

Going on holiday on Friday...which is really not that long, but I thought I had better mention it anyway seeing as I have been thinking about it a little bit, it should be fun and a nice break from the struggles of life (lol yea tht is a joke but it will be relaxing at least) but I'm going to miss everybody loads which will suck, also I need to try to find a way to phone Anne, because she asked me to whilst I'm away, might be hard to do, but who knows, after what's happened recently I doubt she wants to talk to me again...kinda screwed up in the head at the moment as you can tell...but I'm trying not to think about it, and just have fun whilst I'm here at Joshs...

Anyway the guys are gonna b wondering what the hell I'm doing, so I'm outta here, I might make a post later so please check back. Love ya all lol...and please make constructive comments if you can be arsed...laters!

I'll finish off this post with a quote from Anchorman, something that he says at the end of his news reports..."stay classy world!!"

The Legendary Dr. Seuss...

2005-07-26T00:00:00.000+01:00

Well below is a whole bunch of quotes taken from books and interviews and other sources all spoken by the one and only Dr. Seuss...if you haven't heard of him then you need to go back and have a childhood...(He wrote Green Eggs and the grinch...along with loadsa other famous kids books)...anyway as I was saying, here are some quotes, a lot of which you can probably really relate to...and personally, I find them really inspiring!

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"A person's a person, no matter how small."

"Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them."

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

"Fun is good."

"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way."

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. "

"Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

"And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!"

"You are you. Now, isn't that plesant?"

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant."

Anyway...truly inspirational stuff lol! Anyway enjoy and please comment! Thanks everybody!

Have It All

2005-07-25T22:19:00.000+01:00

Well I thought it was probably about time that I made a new post...I don't really see the point because nobody really comments anymore...except spammers lol. But what the hey...I need someone to talk to...and its kinda late so theres no one online..so I guess I'll have to go back to using this blog to express myself.

Well this post is named after a song I'm listening to at the moment, and it's one of my favourites right now, it's taken from the Scrubs Sountrack (which is awesome by the way!!!), and in a way it kinda fits my life lol...but I can't really be arsed to explain it all, so listen to it and let me know what you think.

Talking of thinking (and yea I do it sometimes)...I've been thinking about starting my own radio station using shoutcast, it will be probably indie stream.co.uk so please comment on what you think of the name.

Tommorow hopefully going round to joshs to watch a movie with him and gregg, we're probably gonna pick one up from blockbuster which should be fun, but what's even better is I'm going to see Mary on Thursday (hopefully, this depends upon what my mum says). Which will be the first time I've met her offline, which should be really kl! She's really sweet and nice so I can't wait to meet her.

Missing Anne at the moment...she's not been online and she hasn't phoned, and I got the impression from the text I got earlier that she had totally forgot about me lol, asking me if she could fone me now because I text her saying I was missing her, but she can't phone cos my mum would flip because its too late. So yea...

Maybe on Wednesday we could all meet up with Jasmine, I dunno...I'd love to be able to see her before I go on holiday. I'll bring it up tommorow at Joshs, Gregg would probably like to come to. Anyway I should probably be getting going right now, seeing as it's getting late, and this post is long enough. So bye everybody!

Please comment lol?

Nunite!

Digging To China

2005-07-14T23:10:00.000+01:00

"I would dig a hole to China,
unless of course, I was there,
then I'd dig my way home,
if by digging I could steal,
the wind from the sails,
of the greedy men who ruled the world."

I think that is a really inspirational verse from the song "Dream Girl" by the Dave Matthews Band! It shows how this man would do something that would take a lot of effort (ie. digging a hole to china) if it could get the rich and powerful people to just stop for a minute and consider things, maybe to think about charity or maybe just making them grateful for what they have.

Love the song as well, great! The rest of the song goes on about a girl, but I won't post that because it's late and I can't be bothered! So enjoy everybody and please comment!

Nunnight!

The perfect guy?!?!

2005-07-14T20:28:00.000+01:00

Come on then lads! Lets become perfect guys...I recieved an email recently from a friend who listed 26 things a perfect guy would do...here they are:

1.) Know how to make you smile when you are down
2.) Try to secretly smell your hair BUT you always notice
3.) Sticks up for you but is still respectful to your independance
4.) Give you the remote during "the game"
5.) Come up behind you, put his arms around you, squeeze you tightly against his chest, and whisper softly into your ear.
6.) Play with your hair
7.) His hands will always find yours
8.) Be cute when he really wants something
9.) Offer you plenty of massages
10.) Dance with you even if he feels like a dork
11.) Never run out of love
12.) Be funny but knows when to be serious
13.) Realizes he's being funny when he needs to be serious
14.) Be patient when you take forever to get ready
15.) React cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts
16.) Smiles a lot :)
17.) Plan a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally do just b/c he knows it means alot to you.
18.) Appreciate you
19.) Helps out others
20.) Drive 5 hours just to see you for one
21.) Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart each others company even if friends are watching!
22.) Sing even if he can't
23.) Have a creative sense of humour
24.) Stares at you
25.) Call for no reason
26.) Quit smoking, chewing loudly or doing drugs just because he loves you.

Well there you go guys...an indespensible guide to what we can do to make sure we can keep the gurl of our dreams! ;) Lets me sweet guys!

Hi Everybody (once again...)

2005-06-29T16:25:00.000+01:00

Hey everybody (once again...)

I'm in the IT block after school now, I had to stay behind to do my Physics coursework results and I had some time left over so I thought I'd find some times to make a quick post.

This is probably going to be my last post before I have to go to Belgium...the coach leaves at 5am 2moz morning! Anyway...so I'm going to take this opportunity to say that I'm going to miss you all...thats everybody...Josh, Gregg, Lavan, Niall, Mary, Jasmine, Anne and everybody else that I've left out..lol love u all!!!

Anyway...I'm gonna leave you all in tru !!NEMO!! fashion...

Cya!

Sys Con! Yay! :P!

2005-06-29T14:37:00.000+01:00

Hey everybody (again)

In Sys con atm! And I'm so incredibly bored with doing my coursework I thought I'd make a post. I only have to survive another 55 mins of this shit...and then I'm going to Belgium! Yay!

Actually hold on, thts not tru...I've got to go back for an extra hour after school to do my Physics results for my coursework...which sucks cos it mean I wnt c Jaz in the bus park...which means I wnt c her till next monday...neway scott NEEDS to use the computer for playing games right now so I'm off...to actually go and do my coursework before I get a debt for not doing it.

Cya everybody!

Once Again My Life Decieves Me

2005-06-29T13:22:00.000+01:00

Hi everybody,

In the IT block at school atm, not made a post for a week now lol! Not that nebody noticed :P!

Nothing incredibly interesting has happened in my life in the last week, well nothin that I'm allowed to talk about anyway :P! Cept mayb Anne wants to fuck Josh! :P!

Going to Belgium tommorow on a history trip to some first world war battlefields...which kinda sucks because nobody is going that is to amazin...cept for Tian I spose...so its gonna b kinda borin...just gonna miss everybody even tho it is only for one day.

Anyway...thats all I can be reali bothered to type atm! Cya pplz!

2005-06-22T14:54:00.000+01:00

Hi everybody! In a sys con lesson atm! Lol tis v.borin! Sposed to be doin coursework but cant b bothered so i thought id make a post.

Well ok...people didn't really respond that well to me sayin im emo! So if you wont believe me then ill just start my own religion lol! Tis called NEMO! Lol means nobody in latin! Which rocks lol! I'm a nobody!

It's basically the same as Emo cept I get to say whos in it! Lol!

Me and Josh have made up after the fight we had yesterday which is good news! Basically we both over reacted, lol he put me in a head lock and hit me loads cos i threw a jaffa cake at him...but its good to have him back.

Kinda feeling depressed at the moment, been texting anne and things arent going to well for her, or me for that mattter, but I'm fonin her tonight so hopefully we'll sort everything out, something is tellin me tho tht is way to optimistic.

Anyway i had better go now before i get done for not doin any work at all in a whole double period! Peace out everybody!

2005-06-19T14:06:00.000+01:00

Omg! I'm sooooo hot and soooo bored! It's unbelievable. There is nothing to do, and even if there was something to do I probably wouldn't do it because it's so hot! Anyway...

I watched the OC for the first time yesterday, and I think this may be the start of an addiction! It was awesome...I can't even remember what it was about all I remember is that it was the best spent hour of yesterday, and therefore i AM going to watch it on E4 tonight! Lol can't wait.

I spose at this rate that really is going to be the highlight of my day...how sad :( ! Still no Anne! :( ! She's dissappeared of the face of the earth. Shes not replied to my texts and not bin online and not phoned me or anything...missing her so much! God i need to talk to her!

Awwww well! Speak to y'all l8er! Cya!

"My Heart Was Blinded By You"

2005-06-18T20:21:00.000+01:00

Well I'm back home from my Dad's now and I'd thought I'd make a post because nobody is really online lol!

I really miss Anne! I know we only talked on Thursday but it feels like ages, I spose its because I haven't been properly sleeping and stuff, so it makes it seem like longer, but I think she said she's gone to her Dad's which means I don't get to speak to her until tommorow! :( !!!!!! I was thinking of her earlier, I was in the car and listening to some music with headphones in and I just suddenly started realting the lyrics to her.

Gregg sent me a really cool song today, it's called "Now The Drugs Don't Work" by The Verve you've probably all heard it before, it's quite a famous song. It's just so beautiful though, even though it doesn't really have any relavance to me at all! But I don't care! It's a really beautiful song.

I heard that Josh talked to Anne last night. But he didn't really say much about how it went! Lol reason number 99 as to why I want to talk to her!

On James Blunt's album there is a song called "Goodbye My Lover" and although the song isn't really very relavant to my life at the moment, it's got a beautiful lyric in it which I am using as my MSN screen name at the moment, "My heart was blinded by you" which does mean something to me but I'm not going into that.

Anyway, I'm outta here, because talking to a computer screen gets boring after a while. Bye bye! -wave-!

Morning Everybody

2005-06-18T01:47:00.000+01:00

I’m lying on my bed at the moment, for some reason I can’t sleep, just been thinking about things thought. Went on a night hike tonight, we didn’t go too far, can’t have been more than about 14 miles but all the little scouts we were with were pretty tired so they didn’t talk much, and so I did lots of thinking, thinking of people, thinking of things that have happened and thinking of dreams and whether or not they’ll happen.

Just chilling out at the moment though, listening to James Blunt’s album and Counting Crows, anyway Dad is coming in the morning so I better get off to bed otherwise I’m not gonna be able to do anything tomorrow.

Remember! I love all the important people in my life (you all know who you are!!!) and thanks to everybody else for being part of the background for the world lol! O yeah one last thing, check out the quotes section, look in the menu and down near the bottom, they’re quotes taken from my friend’s blogs!

Good night everybody!

Caring? Lol ok kl...

2005-06-16T13:57:00.000+01:00

Your soul is caring.
Other people are your concern, even if you
don't know them. If you see a person trip you
worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones
first and you're very mature. When someones
sick you're nurturing and always try to help
family and friends when failure strikes them.
You can be called the motherly one, if you are
in a group of people, which doesn't have to be
bad. Love is something that's already in you
and you have a lot to give whether you believe
it or not. Your friends probably love you very
much and come to when they need help since
you're reliable. People can feel secure with
you and generally like you.

How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

What Lies Behind Your Eyes???

2005-06-16T13:39:00.000+01:00

Here is another quiz I took...to tell me who I am...good that they know...cos i sure as hell don't...

In your eyes, people see kindness... You're just so... so... so... Sweet! You're kind and love to give others in need, a helping hand. You're pretty shy but can be warm and friendly towards those you know, and those who know you best. Your sanctuary would just be any place that is warm, cozy, and inviting to all people. You love to show signs of affection to your lover but a small simple talk does the trick as well ;) Sadly, your kindness can be used to your disadvantage. People can use you, and take advantage over your sweet and sensitive mind.... But fear not! With you being so kind and generous, people look up to you and adore you ^-^ No one would dare hurt you because they can't bear the thought of your sweet smile turning into a frown :)

I'm a romantic gurl! :D! :P!

2005-06-16T13:32:00.000+01:00

You're a romantic girl. You're kind, caring,
loveing, and peaceful. You spend a lot of your
time dreaming and you're not afraid to express
deep emotion, whether it be in a poem, diary,
or words. You hope for love and affection from
your prince charming. I have a feeling he will
come around soon.

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Cracked Facade

2005-06-15T21:10:00.000+01:00

Facade

Thats a new word I learnt today, it means a front, sometimes as in the front of a building, but it also can be used to mean a metaphorical front built by a person, which is like a fake outward appearance...and I suppose in a way that's what I have.

At school I can appear as immature, when in fact I am mature (I swear), I can appear as if I don't care what bullies say or do to me but I'm sensitive and it does bother me. Just thought I'd let you all know.

Night everybody!

2005-06-14T20:35:00.000+01:00

Well today has been pretty fun to be honest, and I really didn't expect it to be. We had a geography field trip, which meant a whole day of school to pretend to do work sheets in interesting places whilst not having to wear uniform, and when the teacher's aren't really watching what you're doing, so it had to be fun really...

I left the house an hour earlier than usual because the coach left at quater to eight, which was az bit annoying because it did mean I had to wake up at six. However it turned out to be alright in the end. So we got on the coach to drive to the Isle of Purbeck! The journey was 2 and half hours which wasn't great however, I got through it ok, because last night I had recorded some mini discs and borrowed my brother's minidisc player.

When we got there the view was awesome, I took some pictures on my phone but sadly I don't have a clue how to get them onto the computer, so therefore you can't see them.

It was awesome being able to sit on a hill, with your feet dangling over a cliff looking at to sea listening to good old Dashboard Confessional and thinking of things and people. Sounds really romantic dunit? But it really was great, the scenery down there was awesome!

The trip back was even funnier! Someone had brought in a porn mag and there was a massive pullout poster in the middle so we were holding it up to the window and shopping it to all the truckers and stuff! Was so funny to see their reactions!

Anyway other than that, here I am, at home! And I'm going to end this post there because I'm sooooooooo tired!

Pissed Off

2005-06-10T23:37:00.000+01:00

Had a really bad day today! Not good at all! Just everything seems to be going wrong at the moment and all my mates/ex-mates seem to be pissing me off. For example Scott talked on MSN last night to somebody who was pretending to be Josh, which Scott was obviously embarrassed about it because it was a personal conversation, but Lavan and Josh decided it would be ok to take the piss out of him about it…in Josh’s defence Scott did swear at him this morning before he even properly spoke to him, but who can blame him for doing that, you would do the same if your best mate had spent an hour the night before swearing and taking the piss out of you.

Mary blocked me AGAIN! She said after last time that she wouldn’t do it again but she has, and she probably has done it before without me noticing, and I suspect that Josh probably does the same. They only do it when I’m feeling sad though and I need them, they decide it’s a better idea to block me than help me feel better. So can you really blame me for being annoyed at her…she was ok talking to Gregg and Josh, but talking to me was totally impossible.

But to be honest with you the main reason I’m pissed off is because of Josh, Gregg was right when he said that since Mary came along he hasn’t given a shit about us lot at all. He says he’s too busy or too tired to even talk to me when I’m feeling down, and in my opinion friendship is really all about three things, they are:

- Honesty, well Josh hasn’t been to great at that recently, although I don’t know for sure that he has been lying to me I know he’s been lying to Gregg.

- Being there for one another, well tonight Josh said he couldn’t be bothered to help me out when I was feeling down, and he did exactly the same to Gregg, also he took the piss out of Scott when Scott needed him, so that leaves Mary really doesn’t it…there’s a surprise…

- Telling each other stuff, well apart from lying to Gregg, and possibly me, he doesn’t tell me anything either even though I talk to him about everything. Who does he tell everything to Mary, o yea and Gregg who was boasting to me today that Josh had told him a secret, and not said a word to me…

I try my absolute best to be there for all my friends when they need me…everyone fucking one of them, no matter when it is or how tired I’m feeling. But Josh seems impossible of coping with this at all, he sure as hell can’t be there for me, or Gregg. He must do a fucking good job with Mary if it wears him out that much. Plus earlier on this week when Josh couldn’t be bothered to try and make Gregg feel better because of something he’d done I was the one who sorted him out.

So Josh if you’re there…fuck you…and if you really are trying your best I hope you die trying!

Don’t even get me started on Niall! I’m gonna try and sleep but so full of rage I doubt I’ll be able to. Goodnight world! I hope your mates are twice as dependable as mine.

2005-06-10T13:27:00.000+01:00

Hello avid readers,

...all zero of you. Not in a good mood at the moment to be honest. My mates are kinda pissing me off even though they're not actually doing anything, and I just feel really tired and stressed which doesn't help anything at all....

Don't really know why I'm bothering posting this anyway...nobody reads...or at least nobody who reads it properly cares. And I know that sounds pathetic, but I don't fucking care because you know it's true. Just need a hug, but nobody can do that right either...all my mates are such violent huggers :P because they probably think if they hug any other way then I might consider them gay or something. You can only get good hugs off gurls...but I never get a proper hug off Jaz because usually they only last half a second when I'm about to go...Anne lives 100 miles away...Jaky is considering suicide and also goes to school in a different county also lives a good distance, which means if I want to see her I'll have to tell my parents about her existance at which point they'll ask me a million questions which I just can't take right now. So it looks like I'm kinda screwed hug wise...only got my mum left...thats pathetic init?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or anything, not brave enough, but this isn't depression anyway...this is just me being sad and unhappy, because not a huge amount seems to be going right in my life at the moment.

Anyway I guess that is enough moaning for one life time...but you know you can expect more another time...I think I'll talk about something different now. Just had double maths, we're doing practice coursework for the real coursework which we're doing next week. Pointless! Actually I'll change the subject again before I start moaning...

What have I got to be happy for at the moment? That's what I should do! Be optimistic! I know that at some point in my life I will be happy, and just get over it that its not this point in my life! I have Anne...shes a life line for me at the moment...just hearing her voice helps me feel better...and Jasmine...and everybody else! You know who you are!!!! And there are probably other things but this post is already way way way way too long so I think I'll end it here!

Byyyyyyyyyeeeeeee!

PS. Leave comments...if you're even there at all...

-Poke-

2005-06-09T13:44:00.000+01:00

Owww!

Niall just poked me...as you can see I'm kinda at a loss for inspriation at the moment!

Have you ever considered the idea of a suicidal scorpion, because thinking about the physics of it, a scorpion probably could string itself...do you think any scorpions get incredibly depressed being in the desert alone and decide it's time to leave??? Hmmmmm...

I'm so tired, it's Jasmine's birthday today! Happy Birthday!

O btw according to Josh it's all Jasmine's fault! I'm not entirely sure what he's talking about but he's more clever than me and therefore is more likely to be right. So yea! It's all your fault! -GROAN-

I'm going now as I seem to be incapable of normal people speech. Night night!

-Poke-

2005-06-09T13:36:00.000+01:00

Frustration...

2005-06-09T00:25:00.000+01:00

Well frustration is the only word that can describe accurately how I feel at the moment. Isn’t it just so frustrating when you meet an amazing girl, quite possibly the most amazing person you’ve ever met, and you ask them out and they say no but they do say that they would like to get to know you better first, but then it turns out it is entirely impossible for you to do so for one reason or another.

I’m not sure this is a position my readers have probably found themselves in, except for one, and she isn’t as bothered so it don’t matter.

It’s Jasmine’s birthday tomorrow. I wish for a present I could give her my heart, so that she can take it with her everywhere, and therefore it wouldn’t matter whether we were together or not because she would always have a substantial part of me with her. Sadly it is not a present she will accept…

Well only 15 mins of battery left on my laptop, better make the rest of this post quick. Ahhh the battery light is flashing lol!

Well can’t really think of anything to say at the moment. Other than thanks to everyone who has been there for me when I needed them recently you guys know who you are and I appreciate every one of you!

Oh yea and how dare you call me Jebus…he’s the one who betrayed Jesus..and that’s not me at all, I’m sorta like Peter apparently :P! Never been very good with bible stories…I would really appreciate it if anybody religious could explain it to me.

Anyway, the laptop is about to cut out now, no way was that 15 mins but fine! Night everybody!

iamemo!!!!!!

2005-06-08T21:59:00.000+01:00

Well after much deliberation I have decided that I AM EMO!!! Woooo lol! Feels great to actually know what I am. And no! For those of you who were wondering, an emo is not somebody who is always depressed and thinks life sucks (however i do feel this sometimes) but the Wikipedia description of an emo is:

Emo (an abbreviation of "emotionally-driven Hardcore punk") is a term now broadly used to describe almost any form of guitar-driven alternative rock that expresses emotions beyond traditional punk's limited emotional palette of alienation and rage. It is also used to describe fans of this genre, most commonly teenagers. (e.g., emo kid). The actual term "emo" originated in the mid-1980s D.C. scene, with the band Rites of Spring, as well as bands such as Fugazi,Moss Icon, and Antioch Arrow. The term addressed both the way the band connected with its audience, as well as its tendency to deal more with topics of personal and relationship politics than with the standard themes of rock music.

So that's me! I'm emotional, and I'm into that kinda music! WOOOHOOO! Rock on the emo-kid! Aka...moi!

The Birth Of Super Trundle/James/Trendell/Albert

2005-06-07T22:40:00.000+01:00

Well here is the rest of the post from earlier, my mum told me to go to bed so I’m writing this post from my bed to be uploaded at a later date lol. Anyway I suppose there is more I can say about the Jasmine thing, there must be, I just don’t know what to say that won’t sound stupid or selfish, because selfishness is something I hate grrrr lol! Even though we’re all guilty of it sometimes!

Hmmmmm….

Actually I can’t really think of any way to say this without sounding selfish. God I hate this! So I’m sorry if anyone thinks any less of me because of this, and if you don’t want to know what’s going through my head at the moment, which is totally understandable to be honest, then please stop reading now!

I know I probably mean quite a bit to Jasmine, like she’d miss me if I wasn’t there one day, or if I died or something, which is something in itself because I a lot of people wouldn’t, it’s just I wish I meant a lot more to her. And I want this for purely selfish reasons. If this doesn’t make any sense to you then please don’t worry because it doesn’t really make any sense to me either. I’m not to used to being selfish lol! But for example, if I noticed her coming online I would probably pretty much drop everything and talk to her, but I don’t mean that much to her, she would be quite happy doing her art or watching TV instead of talking to me, and I understand why she does that, but because I’m selfish I want her to talk to me more. Grrr I hate these feelings so much but it doesn’t stop me feeling them.

Anyway, I’m praying to god that she hasn’t read this post! And if you have then I’m very sorry I just really needed to get it off my chest.

Anyway that’s not the only thing I wanted to talk about. I was on the fone to Anne earlier, and it was quite possibly the worst conversation we’ve ever had, we barely spoke and when we did we ended up having a go at each other, but in the end I couldn’t bare it anymore, and I had Physics homework to do, so I was going to leave, but she wouldn’t let me go until we had sorted things out. In the end she started crying, and OMG nobody in the world could ever understand how guilty I felt, I felt literally sick! I’m so pissed off at myself! How could I do that I’m such a fucking dickhead sometimes. I just wish I could be more like how I want to be rather than the way I am.

I was thinking about it today, because there are so many people I wish I could be like. I suppose the main one is Josh, because he’s smart, sweet, good looking, popular and sensitive. So if there’s anybody out there who would ever consider going out with me then don’t bother go find Josh, he’ll do a much better job. Scott is a lot better than me because he’s incredibly clever, he’s actually had a proper relationship with a girl before and has more common sense than anybody I’ve ever met. Lavan because he’s actually funny, yet incredibly deep at the same time, also intelligent. Gregg, because he has much better talent at writing than I could ever hope to have even though I’m a budding author, and also he’s better looking than I could ever hope to be, he also played guitar, which every gurl in the world thinks is sexy and Niall, because he also rocks at everything to do with writing and reading, is amazing at computer games, is really violent and speaks his mind (which I love because half the time I would never dare) and doesn’t appear to be scared of anything even though he’s actually smaller than me.

Or you could go for the stupid person’s alternative me, a guy who’s not only bad looking and has crap dress sense and hair style, he’s also fat, not intelligent at all not sweet, really nervous around the opposite sex, who’s never been in a proper relationship and who gets the shit bullied out of him at school every single day. I suppose my only good feature is that I’ll put up with it all without even challenging anything. O yea and in case you haven’t noticed I’m sick of being optimistic because no matter how patient you are life doesn’t get any better. But of course I’m way to scared to commit suicide.

How the hell am I ever going to get any one to like me, let alone love me when there are people like that around???? It just depresses you! So in other words I’m sick of being me, why can’t I be somebody else????

I’m sick of it! And those who know me well enough will know I’m never usually like this, because I’m never usually this pathetic, but I’ve decided the only way I can diversify my personaility and looks is by accepting what I am, and accepting that means accepting the fact that my life sucks at the moment, and there’s nothing I can do about it unless I change. So as of …..NOW…I am different, I’m not the Trundle, or James or Trendell or Albert that you once knew, I am now on the way to becoming Super Trundle/James/Trendell/Albert because that’s closer to how I want to be than I could be any other way.

Good night world!

2005-06-07T22:16:00.000+01:00

Not really got a huge amount of time for this post to be honest, because my mum has just told me to go to bed! But I couldn't not post after everything that happened today.

I don't really understand any of my feelings about Jasmine at the moment, well not that's not true I understand I love her, and that even though she won't admit it she probably don't love me back. But it's one of those things I'll have to live with. But for some reason I get the impression that I'm way out of her league.

Anyway I g2g now! Mum is shouting!

Where Do I Hide?

2005-06-07T14:56:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

In the middle of a Maths lesson at the moment, writing this post on a piece of scrap paper that I found lying around in my maths book. We're going through the test paper from last week, not done too well though. :(! Can't really be bothered to pay attention though, I'm too busy drawing spikey patterns on the back of my maths book! :P!

I was going to make a post at lunch today, but I didn't really get time in the end, however I did finally manage to persuade Scott to start his own blog! Woo! Lol! Which means that now everybody has one in our little group of friends lol! There's me, Niall, Scott, Lavan, Gregg and Josh (and Mary)! We're going to set up a blogsphere which is kl!

I'm a little bit emotionally confused at the moment to be honest, just been thinking about Josh's blog, which I saw at lunch, called "Colour The Coast With Your Smile". It's a lyric from a song called "Carry This Picture" by Dashboard Confessional! And thinking about that made me think of my favourite smile in the world, Jasmine's! Which got me thinking about things that I love about her. I love her personailty, but that's what shallow people say, and personaility just doesn't really cover it, and I usually would use the word "soul" instead, because it represents the way she is and how she does stuff which would be the same no matter what body she was in. But soul is something you usually here about in Christanity and religions and stuff, which definetly is not my scene. So I love her for something I don't even think exists, kinda confusing! :S! If it don't make sense to you then please don't worry because it doesn't really make a huge amount of sense to me either.

:P! The chains of thoughts you can have in the middle of a maths lesson!!! :P!

Anyway only another ten minutes or so until the end of the lesson, so I think I'll leave it at that for this post because if I don't get these corrections done then I'm gonna find myself in a detention, oh yea and I've also run out of things to say. So I'm off now, but no doubt I'll post later! Cya!

PS. Remember to post comments :P!

Life Doesn't Always Go To Plan

2005-06-05T22:12:00.000+01:00

Well I was about to go to bed, but then I thought today probably deserves a post. Forget probably, and replace it with definetly. Obviously today was the day we all went out for Scott's birthday and of course the day I was supposed to be asking Jaz out. But as the name suggests, it didn't really go exactly to plan lol.

Well we were supposed to be going to see Monster In Law at 1:20pm, however because my brother and my mum was taking ages to get out of the house I didn't end up arriving in Aylesbury until 1:30pm. When I got there, there was nobody there, so I assumed everybody had already gone into the film. So I bought a ticket and went into the film only to find that nobody was in there, so came out and phoned Scott asking where they were and he said they were at Josh's house becaues they were planning on seeing the film at the later time. So we met at the cinema, and we kinda hanged around town for about two hours until the next film was on.
We didn't really do much, but I didn't bring myself to asking Jasmine because I'm such a wimp lol! So then we went into the film and watched it, and it was really funny, howeve Lavan and Scott were whispering loudly to me telling me to ask her out. Of course I told them to shut up lol, because we were in the middle of the film, and so Scott decided it would be fun to sneak up onto the row behind us and try and force us to hold hands. Which didn't work, because he ended up hurting Jaz, and Josh was throwing ice cubes at Scott to try and get him to stop, but he kept missing and hitting Jaz! So she didn't come out of it to well being hurt and covered in ice cubes. Then when the film finished we went outside and said goodbye, I felt really stupid about not doing it.

So when I got home and went on MSN, Jasmine was really upset and I tried to make her feel better, and for some reason she wasn't talking to me, so I said, I knew I was right, I don't deserve you and she says no, i love you. And then I kinda asked her out. But she said no. I'm really confused though, because she basically said that I'd just be like to the other boys she's been out with, so I've decided to try and prove her wrong. Josh says I should just give her some time and see what happens, but I'm not so sure that anything will happen, because in my experience you only really get one chance in love, and I blew it! So I wasn't to happy.

But she did say some nice things to me, like she thought my hair looked really cute, and that it was really cute when I went and hid. Among some other stuff, I'm just waiting until tommorow though, because that's when she's going to tell me how she feels about everything, it's my last hope. But I'm doubtful about it. But I like to dream, and seeing as I won't be getting much sleep tonight I'll have plenty of time to think about it.

Anyway, I showed this blog to Jasmine, it made her cry, which I'm a little bit guilty about, but she also said it made her feel really good.

I g2g now! Night everybody!

A Bit More On My Life

2005-06-05T00:33:00.000+01:00

Well today I was at my dad's house, because it's Saturday, well apparently it is anyway! I can't believe this week has gone so quickly! I feel like I've wasted it, I haven't really done anything. But then again I suppose that's the story of my life really...

Anyway, we called up netgear today and goy dad to talk to them! They've decided our router is faulty and that they will send a replacement! Finally! Lol! So hopefully sometime in the next few weeks I'll have a new router and I won't have to sit in my brother's room anymore! Wooohooo! Believe me this room is really scary! It's an absouloute tip, because he never tidies it, and theres gross things everywhere, like sticky sweets plastered to stuff and half eatern oranges (and that's only what I can see out of the corner of my eye without looking away from my monitor and facing the true horrors of this evil place!) :P!

After we left here we headed over to Dad's house where we watched some of this program called 24, which was kl, it's on sky one so we don't get it at home, but it was really good lol! And after that we headed to the cinema to watch a film called millions!

It was a really great film about a kid who finds £230,000 just a week or two before Britain changes to the Euro and it's all about how they spend the money and stuff, and about their struggle as to whether they should give it back because it doesn't belong to them. And it really makes you think about what you would do if you were in that position, so I really liked it, because it made you think about it after you left the cinema.

After we watched the film we went to my Nan's which was fun, just sat around and watched TV, and chatted and stuff! Twas great.

After that we went back to my Dad's house, where I went on MSN for a bit, and had a little chat to Jaz, about how her parents don't really like her having boyfriends and stuff. Which kinda scared me, because if by some miracle she says yes tommorow then we won't really be able to see each other out of school because of her parents. Of course it would be nice to be able to see her more often, but I'm not too bothered about it because I love her and I'm happy to see her as much or as little as I can!

Anyway, after that we went back and I got back on MSN! And that's pretty much been my whole day, not that interesting really. Except I have a new chair for my room, it's like and armchair made of our straw kinda weaved stuff, you know like a basket lol!

Tomorrow is Sunday, the day I've been waiting for! It's the day we all go to the cinema and I finally ask her out, FINALLY! Omg! You have no idea how nervous I am about it, but to be honest my worst fear at the moment is that I'll chicken out of it! God I hope I don't!

Anyway that's enough for one night, wish me luck with tommorow! Who know's by the time I next time I post I could have an amazing girlfriend! Night everybody!

A Quiz

2005-06-05T00:00:00.000+01:00

Well here is a quiz that I found on Gregg's blog, who got it from Mary's blog. Hopefully it should help you find stuff out about me that you didn't know about me! Here goes!

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contacts
07. I love like to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I like Sports
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told that I have an applebottom
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm pretty smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I love the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
26. I need money right now
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast
29. I have fresh breath that won't kill someone in the morning.
30. I have long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin - or at least somebody i can share my life with...
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to cornrow
41. I am usually never pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. At one point I liked Britney Spears
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex

51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants
53. I like to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat

55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with livejournal (well blogger anyway)
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them (cept Bill, I'm allowed to hate him)
59. I'm a pretty good/amazing dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything important
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 5 years older
79. I plan on seeing the new movie "House of Wax" featuring Paris Hilton and Chad Michael Murray
80. I am shy around the opposite sex sometimes
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol before
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work to update my journal (well at school anyway)
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy some country music
89. I would die for my best friend
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can

93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I (used to) watch Spongebob Squarepants and I love(d) it
99. I have hurt my self intentionally before
100. I am tired at this moment

Lol feel free to ask any questions raised by this post in the comments section! Woo I love comments!

She's Got Eyes Of The Bluest Skies...

2005-06-04T13:33:00.000+01:00

This is a picture of Jasmine that I stole from her deviant art site!

I just couldn't get over how amazing she looks in this picture! I'm sooooooooooo in love with her!
And she has got eyes of the bluest skies, but they're even more beautiful when you get up close and see them! <3!

The comment she posted along with this picture was saying how she was lonely on the grass with no one there to cuddle! Wish I was there! Lol! Anyway can't be bothered to type any more too busy thinking about a certain someone! <3!

Quiz Results!

2005-06-03T19:47:00.000+01:00

Just been browsing the net and found this quiz website...just check out this one.

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Soulmates
Your meeting was by	Choice
They are your	Sweetheart
You are their	Best friend
Your love will	Be the epitome of what true love is

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I just hope it's right!

<3 Accidentally In Love!!! <3

2005-06-03T17:50:00.000+01:00

Well lol, I've given up on the artwork already! I'm so crap but I was listening to some music I haven't listened to in a while and I found a song by Counting Crows called Accidentally In Love, it's from the film Shrek 2!

It's a great song, and thinking about it, I can kinda relate to this song. For a start the first verse is:

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

This is kinda how I fell for Jasmine, I would be thinking about her long after I've finished talking to her. I would think about her when I woke up and when I went to sleep, and any time in between lol! And I remember thinking about whether I was in love with her or not, I wasn't so sure, just like in the song, and although it took a little while I became certain after a short while.

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

I remember feeling all of this as well, and in fact I still do feel it, because I didn't really know what to do with my feelings for her, should I face it and act on it or what? I knew that I couldn't ignore it because the way I felt for her was way to strong to just forget about it. And I can definetly relate to the bit about not knowing anything about love. Because every relationship I've been in so far has been short and sweet, with something going wrong, I'm really NOT experienced and there's nothing I can do about it, which is even more reason to just ignore it, even though I know all I really want to do is tell her, or turn around and face it as the song puts it.

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender

To the strawberry ice cream

Never ever end of all this love

Well I didn't mean to do it

But there's no escaping your love

In the next two bits, the writer sets a beautiful scene, one where he's remembering times he's spent with the one he loves. Which I can relate to, because for ages after something will have happened, no matter how small it was, I will remember it, and I'm normally a forgetful person. And next he comes to the bit where he is accepting his love, and he's not going to forget about his feelings and he's going to act on them. Just like I've decided to, "surrender to the strawberry ice cream" but deciding to ask Jasmine out. Because there really is no escaping your love, not that I'd try to escape even if I could!

Come on, Come on

Move a little closer

Come on, Come on

I want to hear you whisper

Come on, Come on

Settle down inside my love

Well this bit is obvious, this is what I would like to happen! I wish she would move a little close, I want to be close enough to hear her whisper and I want her to settle down inside my love.

The rest of the song talks about how the two people in love in the song get on after they get together, well obviously I haven't got to that stage yet so that bit of the song doesn't relate to me, but that's how I hope it will be! No hold on, there is a one more bit which relates to me, the bit where the singer sings Accidentally In Love seven times in a row lol. Because that's what I am, I'm in love accidentally! And at the moment I'm loving it!

Anyway, sorry for such a long post, don't worry i don't expect you to read, it just gives me a place to put all my thoughts lol! Anyway I might make a post a bit later, if I can think of anything else to say, which those of you who know me probably know that I almost certainly will! So until then...bye!

Jasmine...

2005-06-03T16:55:00.000+01:00

Hi everybody, really bored at the moment, my brother has gone out with mum to go to Berkhampsted Castle, because he's doing a project on it at school, and so I'm home alone at the moment, I've decided to be creative for the first time in my life and actually do some artwork lol! But just in case I don't here's a picture I found on the internet a coupla minutes ago.

You should probably get the drift, but just for those who may have had a terrible childhood and have never seen Aladin, I will explain it. This is a picture from the film Aladin and the gurl on left is Jasmine! <3!!! Anyway peaceout everybody!

Good Morning World

2005-06-03T11:51:00.000+01:00

Morning everybody! Well actually it's closer to afternoon than anything else. Anyway, I've been online about an hour now, just been sorting some things out, changed some of the settings on this blog and sorted out my email client to work with my new gmail account! Not really that interesting lol but it had to be done.

I don't think I'm really up to anything good today to be honest, Mum has said some things about going shopping. Ahhhhh! Whenever I go shopping with her it takes forever and is very very very boring. But to be honest I probably have no choice about that. Anyway, on a more positive note, today is Friday, only two days away from Sunday! And if you've read any of my previous posts then you'll know exactly what's going to happen, and I'm really nervous about it.

But I'm just not thinking about what she'll say because that could make me even more nervous, I'm just concentrating on saying it. Because once I've said it, what happens is out of my control. And it will be down to her, I spose by not thinking about what she'll say in her answer is also a good thing because it doesn't get my hopes up, because then I won't be too hurt if she says no. Lol I'm gonna be strong!

And there is definetly no chickenin out this time! I want this too bad lol! Anyway, I had better get out of here! So see you guys later!

My Second Proper Post!

2005-06-02T23:18:00.000+01:00

Hi everybody!

Welcome to my second proper post! The first two posts don't really count. Anyway, kinda bored at the moment, sitting in my brother's room watching him attempting to complete a 500 piece lord of the rings puzzle, lol!

Jasmine has a deviant-art blog, because she's really creative and actually does art lol, which is like the total oppposite of me, I'm a more writing kinda guy to be honest, rather than an arty kinda guy! But i wish I was good at art! Her stuff is really great, you can check it out at http://pinkina.deviantart.com it's really great!

Talked to Anne on the phone tonight! Wooohooo! It's always great to hear her voice! We only really talked for about an hour tonight, but I'm phoning her tommorow night, so hopefully we'll have the chance to talk for longer, but the only problem is, I keep running out of things to say!

Anyway Mum is shouting at me to go to bed so I think I had better bring this post to an end, just been thinking though! It's Friday tommorow, which is near to Sunday! Scary! We've decided on the time for when we're gonna go see the film. But OMG! I'm so scared! But I've decided I'm just going to say..."I know this sounds kinda sudden, but I can't think of any other way to say it, will you be my girlfriend?"

Anyway! I'm off now! Night everybody!

Strong Enough To Break

2005-06-02T19:15:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

Well, this is my first proper post on this new blog! Woooo! Go me! Well, I’m writing this on my laptop, lying on my bed. It’s 7:15pm, however my internet is broken at the moment, so I’ll be posting this at a later date.

I’ve decided to not show this blog to Jasmine at the moment (sorry Jaz!) purely because I want to write stuff about how I feel about her that I don’t want her knowing yet. But hopefully I’ll end up showing it to her eventually.

Anyway, today has been kind of interesting, went around to Fred’s, we chilled, I plugged my laptop into his router which meant I had internet access, so I was on MSN, go to talk to Jasmine, among others, lol like Mary and Jaky! Love you people! I also took the opportunity to start this blog! Let me know your thoughts on the new layout!

Well getting down to more important matters, I’ve decided to ask Jasmine out when everybody goes out with Scott on Sunday! It will be easier doing it then than doing in the bus park where there are loads of people around. So Sunday it is! Finally! That is if I can bring myself to do it, lol for those who don’t know me that well, I’m a huge wimp! But hopefully I’ll have some good luck and who knows maybe this time next week I’ll have a gorgeous girlfriend called Jasmine!

Can’t really think of a huge amount to say now lol! Except Josh is in Wales! He’s texting me though, which is cool, funny isn’t it that you can get a phone signal in the middle of a Welsh Valley but not anywhere near where my Dad lives, but my Dad says it isn’t that unusual, he had a phone signal way out to sea when he went scuba diving and way high up a mountain when he went skiing. Tis very weird!

Anyway, I’ll be off now, I suppose this post is probably too long for anybody to bother read anyway. So I’m off! Later people!

Welcome Back!

2005-06-02T11:21:00.000+01:00

Hi Everybody!

Well I have managed to find the old modem and so now I have internet at home! Woooohoooo! Just thought I'd let you know, so hopefully I'll be making a lot more posts now. Anyway, I'm on MSN talking to Jaz, so I won't stay long! Cya everybody!

Hi

2005-05-29T13:34:00.000+01:00

Hi Everybody,

Welcome to my blog! Just getting started at the moment! Come back later!

;)

"A Person is a Person...No Matter How Small"

Bon Chanse

Cross Out My Eyes

Change

Bare Time Bruv

Can I be your memory?

<3 If you want the rainbow...you have to put up with the rain <3

Paaaarrrttttyyyy

Sometimes...

Who understands me?

.::Title Goes Here::.

Post Number 63

ill :(

Self Esteem

Hateful Happyness

Damn it's cold!

I *heart* rain!

Ugh

Ok, Crap, Good, Crap, Crap, Good, Good

The Reason

YAY! more coursework YAY!

And All Of Your Stars...Have Faded Away...But Try Not To Worry...You'll See Them Some Day...

The Case Of The Missing Identity

Summer Has Come And Past....

Pick The Silver Lining Out Of That...

A Story Untold...

Song Story

Boys Don't Cry

(Sleep) Over

At My Dad's (Again :P)

At My Dad's

Have It All

Fix You

The Secret Romantic

The Best Deceptions

"A Person is a Person...No Matter How Small"

Stay Classy World!!

The Legendary Dr. Seuss...

Have It All

Digging To China

The perfect guy?!?!

Hi Everybody (once again...)

Sys Con! Yay! :P!

Once Again My Life Decieves Me

"My Heart Was Blinded By You"

Morning Everybody

Caring? Lol ok kl...

What Lies Behind Your Eyes???

I'm a romantic gurl! :D! :P!

Cracked Facade

Pissed Off

-Poke-

-Poke-

Frustration...

iamemo!!!!!!

The Birth Of Super Trundle/James/Trendell/Albert

Where Do I Hide?

Life Doesn't Always Go To Plan

A Bit More On My Life

A Quiz

She's Got Eyes Of The Bluest Skies...

Quiz Results!

<3 Accidentally In Love!!! <3

Jasmine...

Good Morning World

My Second Proper Post!

Strong Enough To Break

Welcome Back!

Hi

I heart rain!